An NVC Chatbot - Nonviolent Communication

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Yes, you can learn faster how to surf the flow of empathy with the Chatbot Mister Giraffe! Greet him by saying "Hi!" to start the conversation:

 

Have a question? A sweet word? Send me a message at: girafflow@gmail.com

It is possible that your browser prevents the Chatbot messages from being displayed (this is apparently the case for the Mozilla Firefox application on Android). In that case, I recommend you try with another browser. If it still doesn't work, try to set up your browser differently or send me a message at: girafflow@gmail.com 

Origin of the project

NVC was discovered as a result of family conflicts. I became interested in mediation / diplomacy, which led me to the discovery of effective principles of communication, presented by Marshall Rosenberg. Having also noticed the thoughts tinged with violence towards myself that were going through me, I started looking for solutions to improve self-understanding / self-empathy. 

The idea of an algorithm based on Dr. Rosenberg's methods was born.

It started by programming messages in English that would repeat, in the form of a question, the feeling and need that I indicated. Why in English? To take advantage of simpler spelling rules.

An unexpected feeling

I used to say for example: "I feel sad, because I need to progress".

And he answered me: "Do you feel sad because you need to progress? »

I said, "Yes!"

And that was enough to give me some understanding, like a narcotic. I was amazed at the pleasant feeling that emerged in me as a result of the understanding I was receiving! Just by asking a "robot" to repeat a feeling and a need?

Then, a thought came to me: 

"If the messages that this robot sends me are enough to bring me a certain understanding and to make me feel this relief... what would happen if I made it accessible to those who need this understanding, but cannot find it in their surroundings?"

Birth of a project

This marked the birth of the Empatech (Empathy through Technology) project.

As a result, this project aims to help those who want to learn empathy and self-empathy faster by sending instant messages to an empathic Chatbot that is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

One Goal

In order to make the program accessible to others, I began to improve it. 

Gradual improvements

As time went by, new ideas came to me. For example: to better learn about feelings, the user could simply send a smiley face to get a list of feelings representative of the smiley face, and then choose the word that comes closest to it. The same goes for needs lists. Another idea was to provide links to learning materials (books, games...) to better satisfy the need(s) that the user indicates.

Then, as Marshall Rosenberg's concepts were further developed, a module for making observations could be created. 

Dealing with violent judgments

Later, the discovery of another concept suggested that I should treat feelings of anger, guilt, shame and depression differently. Indeed, these feelings are apparently created from violent judgments towards others or towards oneself. Judgements based on beliefs derived from the principle of duality "good / bad", "normal / abnormal", "beautiful / ugly". So I had fun inserting a module to identify the thought/judgment that provokes such a feeling, in order to find the hidden need(s) expressed behind the judgment.

The goal being: as soon as the user focuses on the need (hidden behind the judgment), he stops hating himself or others, and leaves room for a softer feeling, such as sadness or fear of seeing this need unsatisfied. 

Furthermore, this would be aligned with the principle that "it is easier and more pleasurable to give to someone who is sad or afraid than to someone who is angry". Learning how to transform this anger into sadness or fear would therefore help to create a better quality of relationship with others when there is a great conflict with strong emotions.

Objective partially achieved

This newly created "Chatbot" is still in the testing phase and is only available in English at the moment. If you wish to test it, you will find it at the top of this page!

Have a question? A sweet word? Send me a message at: girafflow@gmail.com

To go further

Apparently, Marshall Rosenberg realized the importance of changing the systems themselves - in other words, solving the problem at its root. Indeed, at a conference in Switzerland in 2005, he said: 

"If I use Nonviolent Communication to liberate people to be less depressed, to get along better with their family, but do not teach them at the same time to use their energy to rapidly transform systems in the world, then I am part of the problem. I am essentially calming people down, making them happier to live in the systems as they are, so I am using NVC as a narcotic."

Ref. : Book Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer, Joseph Goldstein

This is where the "UBUNTU Contributionism" Movement comes in. It was founded in 2005 by Michael Tellinger in South Africa. Today, the initiative is gaining significant scale throughout the world. Here is the presentation video of the movement: